Protecting Your Marriage From Sexual Sin (Ladies)

“Innocent” Talk Can Lead to Sin

by: Saleama A. Ruvalcaba 

A few weeks ago, I wrote about protecting your marriage from sexual sin.  The entire article gave examples of some of what men face through temptations. However, I would like to shed light on some of what women go through as well.

Women will face temptations and must be aware of sexual temptations too.

The apostle wrote in 2: Corinthians 11:3

“But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.”

Paul here is speaking to the infant church in Corinth and he was afraid for them that they would succumb to temptations. In Beth Moore’s book; “When Godly People Do Ungodly Things” she says; (paraphrase) It is possible today that we have relegated the word afraid to simply; “I am afraid I’ll miss my bus.”

Well, the truth is another bus will come a few moments later.

“I’m afraid the rain will cause us to cancel our party.”

Well, the truth is you can move the party inside, or simply reschedule.

The Greek word for “afraid” is phobeo and its meaning is “terrified” “alarmed” “struck with fear.”

Paul was not passively afraid for the infant church of Corinth. He was terrified that they would not take heed to the deception of Satan – and thus, be overtaken by sin.

Paul would have the same fear for us today.

Moore continues; “What has terrified me is the growing stack of letters from believers who loved God and walked with him faithfully for years then found themselves suddenly overtaken by a tidal wave of temptation and unholy assault. Many believers are convinced such things can’t happen, not to “good” Christians.”

The Attack…

Eve was the giver of life. Women are in partnership with God to bring forth life. The home is the foundation of salvation, and it is not a coincidence that women are, and will be attacked by Satan. Take a good look around our world today. I am pretty sure out of ten families that you personally know, at least four of those families have some sort of family turmoil:

The father is not living as the spiritual leader.

The children have rebelled.

The husband and wife are married, yet despise each other or divorced.

Satan hates family. Satan will attack family. Satan will attack women! When a woman is attacked she is not praying for her husband. She is not praying for her children.

While Satan is powerful and we must be on guard, he cannot overtake us unless we allow him to. He can attack all day, but Jesus Christ defeated Satan – therefore, when you remind yourself of the power of Jesus Christ, you can stand up to Satan’s attack.

An “innocent” Attack

Our family had just moved to a new city and we started attending a new church. Omar had not joined us in the new city. He would join us a few weeks later. I found a church and began attending with my children. I joined a new 15-week session of an ongoing leadership class at the church. At the end of the first class we were asked to select a prayer partner who we were to pray with on a weekly basis for the duration of the class. Before I could survey the room to select a prayer partner, a young man approached me and asked if I would like to be his prayer partner.

Completely thrown off guard…I said, “Umm, sure”.

Everyone in the room exchanged information and we all headed home.

I got into my car to drive home and I did not know what to do.

Prior to me starting the class, I had just completed reading “When Godly People Do Ungodly Things”, by Beth Moore. I had found the book buried among other books at the library one afternoon. It is a phenomenal eye-opener to sexual sin. While reading it, I would call Omar and we would discuss and pray over what I had learned. We felt it was a tremendous spiritual step in our lives. Before reading that book I had no idea how easy it can be to fall prey to Satan’s attacks.

One of the biggest reasons we can be overtaken by sin, quite frankly, is ignorance:

Casual lunch with the opposite sex.

Closed door office meetings with the opposite sex.

An innocent personal text or email with the opposite sex.

Giving a “friend” of the opposite sex a ride home alone.

Me and Omar never gave much thought to these examples, but we realized how very easy it is for these situations to end up as sexual sins. These “innocent” examples will give Satan a foot into your life to seduce you. It is ignorance to trust our flesh.

A few years earlier, at a Bible study one evening, our pastor’s wife shared how she was helping her female friend end an ongoing sexual affair. Her friend and the man she was seeing were both married. The affair began with “innocent” private social media chatting.

Hebrews 5:2 “He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness.”

Psalm 73: 22 “I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.”

Our ignorance is no excuse, but God knows we are ignorant. Our ignorance to Satan’s attacks WILL devour us, however, we must be ever learning and ever growing because of our ignorance.

Do not boast in your knowledge of Christ, lest you be taken down!

Moore continues; “A seduce-proof woman has no confidence in her flesh. Nor does she dream that checking off a list of characteristics or performing a catalog of spiritual disciples have any power to protect her. She knows that God is faithful, and He will do it.”

What Do I Do? 

I was driving home not sure what to do. I knew in my heart I could not be a prayer partner with this young man, but I drove home trying to rationalize why it would be okay.

Remember when I shared in the other post about sexual sin and how we rationalize sin? That is the first step Satan counts on.

All I kept thinking about was how I was brand new to that church. What would they think of me if I asked for a new prayer partner? That was an established ministry which had prayer partners before I arrived. Nothing bad obviously happened before, so why did I need to ruffle any feathers?

I thought about how the other women in the church would find out I requested a new prayer partner and would talk behind my back.

I thought about how I might offend this young man. He was simply looking for a prayer partner, who do I think I am?

I thought to myself, “It’s just prayer. We weren’t meeting in person. It’s over the phone. He tells me his prayer request and I pray about it.”

Everything will be okay, right?

To be continued…

Saleama A. Ruvalcaba