Don’t Be Fooled Into Believing Your Marriage Is Safe
by: Saleama A. Ruvalcaba
Omar came home from work one day and said he needed to talk to me. We went into our bedroom. He proceeded to share with me how two woman at his job had begun to flirt with him. He said it took him completely by surprise since he had worked at this job for a while with these women without incident. Plus these women were in two different departments. He wasn’t even sure if they knew each other.
As I shared in a recent post, Wives, Your Husband Needs Your Prayers, praying for our husbands each day must not be neglected. Family is the foundation for salvation and Satan will do everything to destroy the integrity of your husband. Your husband does not have to have any obvious issues in the area of sexual temptations for Satan to attack him.
That Won’t Happen To Me
In class one evening, my professor said, “Satan does not care who you are. He will try to destroy you. He does not care how old you are. He will try to destroy you. Satan does not care how much money you make, how famous you are, or not. Satan does not care about you! He will try to destroy you.”
1 Peter 5:8 “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
This is why prayer for our family each day, and especially for our husbands, who are leaders in our home, is vital.
In Dr. Tony Evans book, No More Excuses, a book written to men, he says; “It’s the immature Christian who believes he can handle temptation. It’s the carnal Christian who says, that could never happen to me.” Evans goes on to say, “Anyone can commit immortality. I (Dr. Tony Evans) am not immune to it; neither are you. It has nothing to do with how much you love your wife. It doesn’t even have anything to do with how much you love the Lord.”
Evans finishes by saying, (paraphrase), it is by God’s grace and protection through prayer and obedience we are protected from sexual sin. When we don’t pray and when God is not Lord over our lives, Satan will try to destroy us.
It Happened to A Youth Pastor
An article from a Christian leadership magazine came into my inbox. I began reading a story of a former youth pastor. The article was written from jail as he was serving time for statutory rape. He was the new young youth pastor, married, with small children. During his ministry he slowly started flirting with one of the teenage girls in his ministry. He began to rationalize why what he was doing was okay.
Dr. Tony Evans continues in No More Excuses, “Sexual sin is one of easiest sins to rationalize.”
Before long, this youth pastor was in a full-blown affair with a teenage girl in his ministry at church. When his wife found out, A YEAR later, she left with their children never to see him again. He was immediately arrested and convicted for his crime.
Romans 6:12 “Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.”
As I read that story I found it amazing. When listening to stories of adultery people say things like; “It just happened.”
Reading that story, there were so many chances the youth pastor had to prevent the devastating outcome. Adultery does not just happen. The youth pastor began to flirt. The flirting obviously became so prevalent he then suggested they engage in sex. They had to drive together to a secluded place, a hotel likely. He had to get out of the car, walk up to the counter, and pay for a room. He then went back to the car and he and the teenager went to the room. At no point did he stop and say; “No, this is wrong what I am doing.”
He ruined his life over this. His wife and children suffered from this.
When we think we can handle sin on our own, Satan will destroy us, and destroy our witness for God.
Psalm 55:22 “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.”
And In All Things…
Back to my story. Omar said he needed to talk. Two women at his job had begun to flirt with him. I can share with you in all honesty that it’s a humbling moment to know there are women out there looking at your husband. We sometimes become oblivious to this.
So how did I respond to this news? Did I question Omar and demand to know if he did anything to make these women flirt? Did I tell him I would show up at his job and tell these women off?
Me and Omar got on our knees right there and prayed for God to protect Omar, protect our marriage, and intervene in the situation. We continued to pray daily over that specific situation. Omar was now prepared to let these women know to stop coming around him. At first he thought maybe he was overacting about the situation. It’s natural to want to give people the benefit of the doubt. But he finally knew what he was dealing so he came to me so we could pray about it. If the flirting had continued he was ready to let these women know to stop coming around him.
Omar did not have to tell me any of this. I would have never known, but he did the right thing.
Within a week, these two women, who had gone out of their way to flirt with Omar, simply stopped. They didn’t stop working there and Omar didn’t stop working there. No one changed their hours. The situation was over after we had prayed to God. Omar worked at that job, as well as those women, for another year, without any other incidents.
Every morning in our prayer time together, we pray for God to protect us both from sexual temptations. I don’t mean in our alone time we pray for God’s protection, I mean together we pray out loud every morning that God will protect us both from sexual temptations – and He answers.
Don’t neglect prayer time together and don’t neglect prayers for your husband.
-Saleama A. Ruvalcaba
We’ve been talking about how physical intimacy can change the dynamics of your marriage when you learn that physical intimacy is an act of worship to God. But something very important you need to know first; your emotional state must be cared for to allow the beauty of physical intimacy with your spouse to be enjoyed. Both me and Omar had a lot of baggage we had to deal with if we expected to tenderly love each other. I even had to go to Biblical counseling to work through my pain. Sign up via email to receive my posts in your inbox.