Sensual Sacred Sex

Move Beyond The Birds and The Bees

by: Saleama A. Ruvalcaba

When I found out I was pregnant with my now nine-year-old, I was talking with a woman about it. The pregnancy was a huge surprise. The woman I was speaking with was quite bewildered. She could not understand why me and my husband were even having sex if it wasn’t with the intent of having a child.

While at a Bible study one morning, the ladies at my table were having a field day making fun of their husbands and complaining about how their husbands always wanted sex.

From my personal observation, there is a huge disconnect between sex, marriage, and the sacred holiness that God created it to be. Even in most Christian circles, talking or even thinking about sex is wrong!?

Sure, we’re intimate with our spouse, but are we intimate for the right reasons? Are we intimate simply to have children? Are we intimate (ladies) because we are tired of hearing our husbands complain? Do you know or even care what the Bible says about physical intimacy in marriage? Do you know that when you are physically intimate with your spouse, for the reasons God intended, your marriage can change?!

Do You Have Great Marriage?

Today, I am proud to talk about my amazing marriage! I have a great marriage. That wasn’t always the case. My marriage was beyond bad. I don’t even know words to describe how bad it was. Me and my husband treated each other like enemies. At our wedding reception several people made fun of us saying; “Are you two going to have a big fight after the wedding?”

No, we didn’t have a big fight that night, but we did a few days, weeks, and months after the wedding. We almost divorced. We had no love. We spoke harshly at each other. We didn’t do anything together in a loving manner. We managed to have several children during these years, but we were simply two people, who had children, in a house together, with a piece of paper which said we were married.

Enter Jesus Christ

That all changed when Jesus Christ became our Lord and Savior. Our marriage got better! We learned how when we mistreat each other we are sinning against God. We learned how to love each other. However, our marriage did not dramatically change until we finally understood how God views physical intimacy in marriage. We started to apply what we were learning to our marriage.

We thought physical intimacy was about having children and that was it! We thought physical intimacy was nothing more than “Birds and Bees 101”. We were wrong! God created physical intimacy for so much more between and man and his wife.

Genesis 2:24 says: “Therefore a man shall leave his wife and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Do you know what “become one flesh” means to God and marriage?

My marriage got better, but I wanted a great marriage! I was tired of the mundane. I was tired of going to church pretending everything was okay. Me and my husband started studying what the Bible has to say about physical intimacy and today we have the marriage we so desired.

Now don’t get me wrong. Our marriage didn’t change simply from having “more” sex. Our marriage changed when we learned how God views physical intimacy in marriage. We learned that physical intimacy is an act of worship to God. We’ve been married now going on seventeen years!

Do you have a great marriage? Sure, you might post on social media how great your marriage is. You might even convince yourself it’s great. But let’s keep it real! Do you have a great marriage? Do you want a great marriage?

Stay connected to Sexy Christian Marriage to learn more about how you can transform your marriage into a godly Christian marriage that glorifies God.

-Saleama A. Ruvalcaba